The content in this blog post first appeared in my monthly newsletter in October of 2025. Sign up here for first access to more content like this!
Hi Friend!
What is up, October! I am so excited for this coming month and all the pretty Fall foliage it will (hopefully) bring! I have two Fall Family Sessions in the books (click here to see the first one!), a trip to visit family in Kansas (and peep some awesome colors!), and I’m hoping to squeeze in a camping trip as well. Super busy, as usual, but so worth it! I am ready to officially kick off soup, sweater, and bonfire season, ASAP!
This month’s newsletter is about a topic that is so near and dear to my heart, and I’ve been looking forward to writing it for so long: second hand wedding attire. Now, I know that some of you may have a visceral reaction to the words “second hand”, especially when they preface the words “wedding attire”. But I am here to present a solid argument for wearing second hand wedding attire, give you all my best tips and tricks, and refute all the arguments against it as well. Let’s get started!
Reasons You Should Wear Second Hand Wedding Attire
1. It’s Sustainable
In general, there is an overabundance of clothes on this planet. Thanks to fast fashion, there are already enough clothes on Earth to last for approximately the next six generations. That’s insane. And yes, I realize that by narrowing down that generalization to wedding attire, the statistic probably changes a bit.
But think about it. How many women do you know who have their wedding dress tucked away in their closet? They wore it once, it probably didn’t get dirty, they most likely had it cleaned anyways, and now it’s just sitting there. “In case my daughter wants to wear it.” 1) They might not even have a daughter. 2) If they have a daughter, she may not ever get married. 3) If they do have a daughter, and she does get married, she may not even want to wear her mom’s dress (which is completely fine and totally her decision).
So what are all those wedding dresses doing? They’re just sitting there feeling sad that they were so carefully crafted and then only worn for four hours. Wedding dresses deserve to be worn and shown off.
What if, instead of buying brand new wedding attire, you found something that someone else wore to their wedding, and gave it a second (or third, or fourth) chance to be worn again? Wearing second hand wedding attire helps to create a circular fashion industry that benefits our planet and everyone on it.
2. It’s Meaningful
There is a question that I want you to ask yourself multiple times throughout your wedding planning process – before you reach out to every vendor and before you make each major purchase:
“Am I just doing it because it makes me feel nostalgic, or does it actually mean something to me?”
There are a lot of things about weddings that feel nostalgic – from your childhood, from every movie you’ve ever seen, from stories that your parents or grandparents told you – and nostalgia is a good feeling. But it can also sometimes cause you to hang on to things that actually have no meaning to you. On your wedding day, don’t feel pressure to follow anyone else’s traditions. Instead, focus on creating a meaningful experience for you and your partner.
The “tradition” of going wedding dress shopping with your mom and your bridesmaids is a fairly new tradition, but a tradition nonetheless. Something much more meaningful would be to have your mother’s or grandmother’s wedding dress tailored to fit you and your style. Even finding vintage wedding attire at an antique or thrift store can be extremely meaningful.
3. It’s Economical
One of the most major purchases you will make for your wedding is the attire. Spending $$$$ on a wedding dress has become something to brag about, but it’s 2025 people! Bragging about how much you spend – on anything – is really gross. So if you’re like me and you like to instead brag about how little you spent on your wedding attire, wearing second hand is the way to go!
Tips for Finding Second Hand Wedding Attire
1. Ask For It
We talked about this a little bit already, but don’t be afraid to expand your search beyond just your parents or grandparents. Try asking extended family like aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Close family friends or coworkers could also be options.
You don’t have to start the conversation out by asking them directly if you can wear their old wedding clothes. When the topic of your upcoming nuptials inevitably comes up in conversation, ask them about their own weddings. Maybe ask to see pictures (you know, just to see if you even like their wedding attire), ask if they still have their wedding clothes, maybe even ask to see them. Then like a week later, call them up and tell them that you’ve been toying with the idea of borrowing your wedding attire, explain why (see the section above if you need help in this department), and then say that ever since you saw their wedding dress or tuxedo, you haven’t been able to get that piece out of your mind! Flattery works wonders, my friend.
Of course, discussing whether they are giving you the wedding clothes, letting you borrow them, or selling them to you is a must. Never take for granted that someone would just give you their wedding attire. Those clothes have sentimental value and that should always be respected. And if they don’t feel comfortable with any of those options, that is their prerogative and should be respected.
2. Go Thrifting
If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you know I love thrifting – whether it’s for my house or my closet. So of course, to me, nothing sounds more fun than going around to all the best thrift stores and searching for a wedding dress. But for those of you who maybe aren’t as used to thrifting, here are a few tips:
1) Don’t get discouraged if you don’t find anything at the first store you go to or on the first day that you start looking. Thrifting is a long game. It’s a slow burn. Give it time and give it a chance.
2) Ask around in local Facebook groups for the best thrift store recommendations. Bonus points if you specifically ask about wedding attire. If you are embarrassed (hey, I can’t relate, but I do get it), most groups have the option to post anonymously.
3) Search on Facebook Marketplace. Also, search for groups you can join for your area that are specific to reselling or rehoming wedding decor/attire/etc.
4) Hit up estate sales, consignment shops, and antique malls as well as thrift stores. The prices will be higher, but the quality will also probably be higher. And it still won’t be as much as buying new.
3. Don’t Limit Yourself
Who says you have to wear something exactly the way it was intended? When you’re wearing something second hand, you have a lot more freedom to change the way something looks without feeling guilty about “ruining” something you paid a lot of money for. Sure, 80s wedding fashion may not be your style, but they sure did use a lot of fabric for their wedding dresses back then! Find you a tailor who can turn that totally copasetic dress into an elegant gown.
*Of course if you are borrowing something from a family member or friend, tailoring or reworking may not be an option.*
4. Start Early
This should be a given, but when you’re searching for something so specific second hand, it can sometimes take a lot longer than you might think. By starting as early as possible, you give yourself the best chance for success. Plus, if you end up needing something tailored or reworked, that just adds time to the whole process.
The Part Where I Obliterate All Opposing Arguments
Now that we’ve discussed the why and the how, let’s talk about all the reasons why you may think you shouldn’t wear second hand wedding attire.
“Thrifted clothing is so gross!”
Have you heard of soap? Like, yeah you probably can’t toss that wedding dress into the washer with the rest of your laundry, but soaking it in a tub of water with soap or vinegar will do wonders. Check the tag for cleaning instructions, of course, and then Google and Youtube are great places to search for cleaning tips.
“I never find anything in good condition at thrift stores!”
My biggest tip for finding awesome things at the thrift store – especially when I have something specific in mind – is to go as often as you can. My next biggest tip is to search through literally every single aisle. Put your hands on the clothes and look at everything – you are looking for a diamond in the rough, and sometimes the best things can be hidden behind two very ugly things.
“I just want something that is all mine, not worn by someone else at their wedding!”
This all comes down to your values as a person. Prioritize the things that are important to you – and ask yourself why these things are important to you – and then go from there. Also, if you think that the brand new wedding dress from that store at the mall is one-of-a-kind, it isn’t.
“I don’t have time to thrift my wedding attire!”
Give it a shot anyways. Sometimes I have something really specific in mind and I walk into the thrift store and it’s the first thing I see. Thrifting is a game of chance, and sometimes you get lucky. But thrifting isn’t the only way to find second hand wedding attire. Buying new can also take a long time, so it’s worth a shot at finding something used.
“I don’t need to thrift my wedding attire, I can afford to buy new!”
Awesome! But there are reasons other than money for wearing second hand clothing. Try calculating your wedding’s carbon footprint based on what you’ve planned so far, and then make a decision on whether you want to wear second hand attire.
Final Thoughts
Wearing second hand wedding attire is a beautiful way to honor the bride or groom who wore those clothes before you. And if you’ve made it this far, you’re definitely my kind of client and I’d love to chat with you about me photographing your wedding! Also, be sure to sign up for my email list so that you can check out all of my wedding planning freebies, with titles like “Leave No Trace Wedding Guest Guide”, “Buffalo National River Elopement Guide”, “30 Wedding Favor Ideas That Don’t Suck”, and so many more!
*All my blog posts contain a selection of images that I’ve taken. If you are interested in booking a wedding or session with me, I am more than happy to send you a full gallery upon request!
I’m a wife, a dog mom, a foodie, a wanderer, a registered nurse, and a portraits/elopements/branding photographer … and this blog will cover it all! If you enjoyed this post, first of all thank you, and second of all please follow me on Instagram + Facebook and sign up for my monthly newsletter to get exclusive wedding planning advice and access to all of my new (and old) freebies! If you have any questions about elopement photography, my journey from nursing to photography, or my time spent as a full-time RVer, drop a comment and I just might write a blog post answering your question (but I definitely will)!
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