2020: My Year in Review

At the start of 2020, my life looked so different than it does now. I was a 1) staff nurse, 2) homeowner, and 3) cat owner, living in 4) Northwest Arkansas. There was nothing wrong with that life, but we had our hearts set on traveling. So we sold the house and our cars, gave Honeysuckle the cat to a family member, packed up our things, and moved into an RV. 

My first travel nurse assignment was in Northern Los Angeles County, and a week after we arrived there, California issued their mandatory state-wide stay-at-home order. All our plans and dreams for what life would be like living in an RV and traveling around the country were suddenly changed. The fear of the unknown permeated every aspect of our lives – we could see it in the eyes of strangers as we waited in quiet lines six feet apart to get into the grocery store, of our neighbors who we never met because no one was lingering outside anymore, and of my co-workers as they donned masks, goggles, face shields, gowns, and gloves before heading into the room of a patient with respiratory symptoms. 

As the summer went on and the protests began, we laid in bed night after night, wide awake and listening to police sirens and helicopters patrolling for looters. Those police sirens and helicopters soon turned to fire engines and water helicopters as the wildfires raged not very far from where we lived. There were even a few days when the other side of the very small town we lived in had to evacuate, and ash rained from the sky. 

Due to COVID, when my first travel assignment was over, there were no hospitals hiring travel nurses. Many were even laying off their staff nurses for budgetary reasons. The only option I had at the time was to renew my contract at that hospital, so that’s what I did. I signed up for three more months of isolation, anxiety, and depression. But about halfway through my second contract there, something changed. It wasn’t my circumstances, because those were painfully unchanged from before. It was my mentality and the way I chose to respond to the difficult situations I was being presented with every single day …  

The pandemic. 

The racial crisis.

The wildfires. 

The election.  

Going to work every day and having to learn a new procedure – that didn’t exist the day before – that was supposed to save my life. 

Taking care of increasingly sicker patients. 

Knowing that the one thing I wanted to do more than anything else in the world – hug and hold my family back home – was the one thing I couldn’t do. 

Although there were (and still are) so many things out of my control, I decided not to let that stop me from having and chasing dreams. And suddenly, even though nothing had changed, it felt like everything was different. 

As I take the time to look back on this year,  I am thankful for the time I’ve been able to spend growing closer with my husband, the cuddles I’ve been able to have with my puppy, the friends and family that I have learned new ways of communicating with, and the opportunity to start my own business. What are some things you have to be grateful for this year (or are looking forward to in 2021)? 

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Published by Bree Hanan Photography

Hi! I'm Bree, and I photograph couples, intimate weddings, and elopements! I am based in the Northwest corner of Arkansas, but willing to travel just about anywhere for a mountain view at sunset.

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